"I'm sorry, did you say menses-inducing? Like, you take drugs to get your period?"

(Source: Servier Medical Art)

Yes, that is correct.

First, I think a little background is in order.

I visited my new gyno almost two months ago for an annual checkup. Now, I hadn't had a pap smear in almost two years (shame, shame). It wasn't my fault though! I did try to get one last year, but the gyno I'd chosen doesn't do pap smears unless you're over 21. Luckily, this one did and I happily scheduled an appointment.

Anyway, I show up and all the good stuff happens. I saw the nurse practitioner, Christina (who, may I say, is SO sweet), and I told her all about the problems and pain I'd been experiencing since I was 15. 

For the record, I didn't get a period for the entire summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school. I finally complained about pain in the lower-right part of my abdomen, and I was convinced I was experiencing the early symptoms of appendicitis, so my poor daddy took me to the hospital at 1am during the Christmas break of my sophomore year. Upon conducting a CT scan, they discovered a small cyst in my left ovary. They said I felt the pain on my right side because it was radiating over from the left. Or something. So no appendicitis, phew. But.. I had an unknown mass in my ovary? Hmm.

So my extremely anxious mother took me to my first ever gyno appointment, where they gave me a sonogram and then talked to me about my options. I decided to follow their advice and take birth control pills. However, they gave me headaches and just made me downright miserable, so I requested that they take me off of them. They offered a lower dosage, which I took, but they still sucked so I stopped taking them.

Fast-forward to the beginning of this year, I went January to March without a period (which Christina said "Uh-oh!" to) and I let her know that my periods have been irregular since I started/stopped taking birth control. Ironic, no?

All of what I told her led her to believe that I was exhibiting early signs of endometriosis and/or endometrial cancer, which scared me, of course. She recommended that I try Provera since I hate birth control pills. She claimed that it wouldn't give me a headache, and that it will make it so that I have a period every month. Intrigued, I welcomed the suggestion and accepted the prescription.

I was then given a transvaginal ultrasound by the ultrasound technician. We talked a bit like old hens, and then she stopped as she panned over to my right side. I could sense that something was off, then she said "I'm gonna go get the doctor so he can take a look at this, okay?"

Ohhhhhh no. What in the hell did she see?

The doctor entered the room, and the technician re-assumed the image she'd captured earlier. He confirmed what she'd seen and let me know that I had a 4-centimeter cyst just outside the ovary in my right tube. Okay, what? Isn't my tube tinier than that? I was ridiculously scared at this point. The doctor recommended that I come back in two months to check on the cyst's size. If it's smaller or gone by then, they will leave it alone until it goes away. But if it's the same size or larger, I will have laparoscopic surgery to remove it from my tube. He insisted that I should be fine without surgery, and to come back sooner if the pain worsened.

So here I am with two days left to go until my follow-up appointment. That was just the back-story as to the point of this post though ;)

I was given ten 10 mg pills to take twice daily for five days, and was instructed to take them starting on the 1st of November, then wait until my period started. I was about to take my first pill when I noticed that my period decided to show up on its own. Yay! But do I still take the pill? I did take two pills, then my period stopped. Out of confusion, I stopped taking the pills and called my doctor. I asked to speak to a nurse, but nobody picked up out of the three separate times that I called :l After a day of being period-less, it came back and resumed like normal.

I returned to the office to pay my bill and ask a nurse about the pills. They instructed me to wait until December 2nd, and to take the pills if my period still had not shown. That is definitely what happened, so I took the pills twice a day for four days, and five days later (on the 10th) my period showed up.

BOY, did it show up.

While they weren't as bad as the ones I'd had while on birth control, I did have those little, nagging headaches that sit on one tiny part of the side of your head. Those were just annoying. Anthony admits that I was pretty agitated while I took the pills. I also had a little breakout, but it wasn't too bad. The worst part had to be the period though. GOD, that period. I'm still sort of on it, but I'm so glad the worst of it is over. The first two days were absolutely horrendous. I had the most painful period cramps EVER. I could feel it in my literal uterus, in my lower back, in my legs, in my stomach, EVERYWHERE. My poor uterus felt like it was quivering. My girls weren't taking it so well either. The sides near my armpits were so sore. In the mirror the other night, I noticed that I have tiny bruises there, which definitely concerns me. I'll be sure to ask about it during my visit on Tuesday, though.

All in all, I don't have too many problems with Provera. Granted, I've only taken one round of it, but I'm sure I'm going to continue taking it until I'm having normal cycles on my own. The biggest con for me is definitely the intensity of the cramps. They've quelled quite a bit, but they are seriously earth-shattering throughout the first few days. That and the amount of blood. Christ.

My reasons for taking it outweigh the pain, I think. I can't count how many times I have broken down sobbing in the shower, on my bed, on my couch thinking about the possibility that I may never have children of my own. Yes yes yes, I am very young, I am in school, I have other things to look forward to that I should be focusing on right now. I get it. My mother had me when she was 21. Having a baby now would not be the end of the world. I would rather have one now than never. But anyway.

I am supposed to be in my fertile prime right now. Not having regularly periods means that I am not ovulating normally, if at all. On top of that, cysts are regularly forming in my ovaries, making it even more difficult for ovulation to occur. Tell me again that it will happen in due time. That I have plenty of time to worry about that later. Don't tell me those things because according to my body, I don't have very much time left. I have to start regulating my reproductive system now so that I will have less complications when it comes time to start our family. I would give anything to be able to have my own child. That's why I'm taking it.

I hope this somehow helps someone exploring their options when it comes to reproductive health. I should also add that I am definitely not a medical professional, and that the above was just my experience with the drug. Every woman is different :)

Hopefully I get good news on Tuesday morning!