Jenkins III: An Adventure
7:16 PM
The following is a dramatization through the eyes of my Blackberry starting at half past seven 'o clock yesterday morning, Monday, the twenty-ninth of October, 2012.
9a: Now we're going to her political science class. Stop checking the time every 10 minutes, darn you!
10a: And now it's time for philosophy class. Joy.
10:45a: Wait, why are we in your room? You're not supposed to be out of class for another five minutes! You say your professor let you out early? Hmm. Well played, human professor. Stop checking Facebook, it's boring. Nap? Okay..
1p: Oh good, you're up. ...You're just gonna leave me here? :T Alrighty then.
You're back! With that smelly thing. You call it food. I call it weird.
3:20p: Is it time to go already? Okay. Why are you taking this strange bag? I don't like this bag. Ahh yes, your transportation device. Or your van. Which you call Tracy. She scares me.
3:30p: We're here! Ahh yes, it is the football practicing destination. I believe you call it "Jowers". Don't forget about me, I'm right here in the little thingy between the seats!
Don't stuff me into this strange bag! You're scaring me! Wait.. Hey. I'm over here. Stahp walking, you left me behind! Hey!! Turn around, I'm on the ground! These people are going to step on me! D:
Approx. 4:12p: I can't believe she just left me here. ....Wait just a damn minute, who are you??? Why..Why are you picking me up? You're not my human! W-what?? Hey, you're not allowed to open that!! Why are you texting her mother?? Wait! My human's over there! Nooooooooooooooo!
Roughly 5 hours later...
Approx. 9:20p: So cold.. And I'm being held hostage. In a stranger's lap. So afraid. Where are you taking me now?? Why are you putting me into this car's window? Wh-Why.. Human! OH, HUMAN!! I've missed you! It was horrible! This strange human picked me up off the ground where you abandoned me, then she drove approximately 30 miles north, and they stopped to regain strength at a pizza restaurant! Why did you leave me?? Oh, the hell with it, it doesn't matter! I missed your hands and pocket! Oh, human. I will never leave your side.
FIN.
(So in general, I dropped my phone at the practice field before band practice and some chick picked it up. She texted my mom saying that she found this phone and would like to return it, and she left her number. My mom called the university police to go check on me, because she was worried that I'd been kidnapped or something. Meanwhile, I used someone's cell phone at the front desk at Jackson to call the chick. She says, "Oh.. Well.. I'm in Austin right now. Do you wanna come get it?"
"Umm, no that's not gonna happen."
Chick: "Oh.. Well do you wanna meet up somewhere tomorrow?"
Me: "No, I need it immediately."
Chick: "Oh.. Okay well it's whatever you wanna do."
Me: "Fine, bye."
Later...
Me: "Let's meet at the HEB in Kyle."
Chick: "Oh.. Well I'm eating right now. Call me back in an hour and I'll go meet you."
Later...
I go with my friend and her friend to Kyle to get my poor phone. When I got it back, I had a voicemail. Basically, someone called my cell phone to tell me that someone had my cell phone. Mmmm-hmm. Smart people in the world. Also, WHO DOESN'T TURN IN A PHONE AND THEN TAKES OFF 30 MILES AWAY FOR FIVE HOURS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING??? Whatever. At least she gave it back. I'm never returning anything ever again.)
0 comments